FIRST, MANAGE YOURSELF


FIGURE 2


of the ways we help them learn that is by letting them collect feedback from people who they think know them and should have a sense of them; often they discover that there is a gap.


Army AL&T: What is the hardest thing about developing emotional intelligence? What are the big challenges?


Hill: One is that we can know what our intentions are, but other people don’t, right? Tey just see our behavior. It is as if we assume that people can read our minds. And I think that’s why it can be rather shocking sometimes to learn that people don’t perceive us as trustworthy. Maybe they just don’t know you very well. Research has suggested that when people don’t know you, they don’t nec- essarily feel positively about you or your behavior.


Tis can be especially true if you are a star; if your mind works very quickly, you might tend to jump from the data to conclusions without explaining your reasoning. Tat’s why teachers made us show our work when we did math prob- lems. If you are really good at something, you might easily become impatient with people. And people are very good at read- ing nonverbal signals, right? Tey can see your frustration when they appear not to get something that, frankly, you haven’t even explained, and that doesn’t make them feel very good.


So the two questions that I always tell people to ask themselves are, how do people experience you, and how do peo- ple experience themselves when they are with you? Because leadership is always about an emotional connection.


You can be very talented and know you are well-intended; you can do the job and think people are enjoying working


82


PURPOSE MOTIVATES


A common sense of purpose and a feeling that the work matters are essential for a group to be willing and able to innovate together. Military leaders have an advantage on this score, since shared purpose and values are built into the mission. (SOURCE: Figure III-1 from “Collective Genius: The Art and Practice of Leading Innovation,” by Linda A. Hill, Greg Brandeau, Emily Truelove and Kent Lineback. Reprinted with permission.)


with you, that the whole group is suc- cessful, etc. But it may be that you are actually not making people’s


space for other ideas and they feel pretty left


out; that they see it as being all about you and not necessarily what the group wants. Or maybe you are very talented and pushing people quite a pacesetter, as


it


along—you are is called—but


you are burning out people with your pace. Maybe you are not actually pro- viding them with the development they need or delegating enough; you might be micromanaging and making them simply follow your path. Tese are the kinds of things that get in the way of talented people actually develop- ing empathy and/or being trusted by individuals.


Te other thing is, if you don’t inquire a whole lot—if you are a person who always advocates—then not only do you not learn new things, it is also insulting to people. So, for example, if we are peers who are collaborating on a project in the military and you don’t inquire, you don’t ask any questions, that sort of makes me feel like you don’t see me as someone you can learn from.


Tere is some evidence that the more


talented you are, the more difficulty you will have learning to lead and building trust. Because you also can be just plain intimidating. Your talent, your strengths, can become weaknesses. Tere is research that people who are high-potentials and ambitious and have a high need for achievement tend to be people who see


Army AL&T Magazine


July-September 2017


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